found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
