He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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