Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
