ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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