Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
