you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
