When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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