it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
