Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
