The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
