Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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