i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
