C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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