i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
