xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
