I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize