Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
