nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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