I wannas sexs uuuuu
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
