He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
