It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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