The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
