i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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