You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You can't special order awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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