I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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