Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
