Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize