You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
