They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
