Ambien. No doubt about it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
