Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
this just has baby written all over it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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