she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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