my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
