She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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