U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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