he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My penis needs a shock collar
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
