are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
