of course. lets lasso hookers.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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