Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
