My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
