So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
