every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
