I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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