i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
