Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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