Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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