you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
