So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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