I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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