Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I looked at my own cervix.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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