Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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