i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I DEMAND FORESKIN
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
