these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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