Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize