i don't like sucking hair
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
