I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude. I can hear the air.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
