I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
