ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
