As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
wow bdsm is so cute
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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