Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
COCAINE IS GR8
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
