I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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