Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you never un-have a 4some
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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